Sunday, 15 February 2009

• Push VS Pull Theory of Attraction

  
  

    Push VS Pull Theory of Attraction

  Introduction:

                  In simplistic terms, I believe there are two main ways of attracting the opposite sex that I’ve found to be true. I have named the two overall strategies into distinct categories named push and pull. As with most things in life, each strategy has its own strengths and weaknesses. In general the solution lies vaguely somewhere in between the two rather than at the extremes. Each philosophy is incomplete on their nature and possesses better results depending upon the situation.
  

  

  Push Theory

                  To begin, push attraction is straight forward compared to pull attraction. To better understand Push, we will use the archetypical example of the Alpha Male. Alpha males are considered the leader in the pack and display various attributes such as strength, leadership, brawn, etc. Alpha males are the perfect example of what Push Attraction is about. In nature, the Alpha Male must display strength and being decisive in hunting and providing for the pack. Therefore, they must have a “go getter” attitude rather than waiting back for things to happen. Whenever an Alpha Male sees something that he wants, and then he has to go out and try and get it. In courting terms, this means that when he sees a girl that he’s attracted to then he has to go and try and get her attention. He will try and impress her with his charm, athletic ability, good looks, leadership, personality or whatever to try and get her to become attracted to him.
  

  

  Push and Hunting

                  Push resembles the most primitive hunting found in nature for thousands of years. If you are hungry then you have to go out and hunt for food. You cannot afford to sit around and wait for prey to come to you because prey doesn’t want to get killed. The predator’s goal is to track down prey then go in for the kill. Typically, this type of hunting takes lots of energy because you’re actively going out to pursue the prey.

  Push: Males VS Females

                  Push Attraction is geared much more for males as opposed to females. There are a variety of different reasons why this is so. Within our culture, males are expected to be the initiators whereas females are expected to respond. This is deeply rooted within civilization that has been trickled from thousands of years until we see dating in the form it is today. Males are expected to be the risk taker and initiator when he’s interested in someone and is expected to do the pursuing. This is not to say that females being the initiator are forbidden and this has been a more accepting trend in society. Push Attraction is most of the time applied by males and is so because of a variety of reasons.

  Strengths and Weaknesses of Push

                  The strengths of the Push Attraction are many and one of the most important aspects is that Push is active rather than passive. Rather than waiting around, Push Attraction requires you to be proactive and become a go getter to make things happen. Essentially, your fate is in your own hands and you have no one else to blame. This type of attraction also requires you to take more risks which entails much courage. This is more suitable for certain personality types such as being very outgoing, friendly, or the archetypical Alpha Male. Push Attraction opens up many doors which is very important in the initial stages of ice breaking and just getting to know others.

                  As with everything, there coexists a dark side along with the light. The weaknesses of Push Attraction entails more risk taking which may have the possibility of being rejected many times. Push Attraction may not be the most energy or time efficient way either because you are more committed to pursuing others. Pursuing others may require more time, energy, gifts, attention, etc that may eventually lead to nowhere.  Although Push Attraction is more effective in the initial stages, the need and strengths gradually wane as the relationship develops beyond.

  Pull Theory

  Pull Attraction is much more passive compared to Push Attraction. The Pull Attraction is based on demonstrating value as well but the attraction is much more subtle. You demonstrate value and then you wait for others to pursue you rather than the other way around. Pull is effective in that you really don’t have to waste much energy actually pursuing but rather you just have to wait let others see you and eventually pursue you. When others pursue you then you are in the position of power. You essentially become the chooser rather than the chosen.
  

  
  

  Pull and Trapping

                  As opposed to active hunting that resembles the Push Attraction, Pull is closely tied to a different type of hunting, trapping. Trapping as the name suggests involves using bait and a trap to catch prey. Trapping is considered much more energy efficient because you only have to set the trap and let the prey come to you rather than the other way around. Typically trapping involves setting the bait and designing a snare so that when the prey comes around, it will be caught while trying to get the bait. The beauty with snares is that you can set up multiple snares to catch multiple preys rather than just going after one prey. The classic example of trapping, as seen above, is a mouse trap using cheese as bait. The “bait” in human attraction and dating refers to a variety of different characteristics including physical, personality, humor, status, etc. The more attractive the bait then the more likely prey will come and be caught in the snare.  

  Pull: Females VS Males

                  Pull Attraction is displayed by females much more than males in general because females are historically the pursued rather than the pursuer.  Within nature, females have the power to and are free to choose their mates because they are more vested in the relationship in terms of commitment. In nature, females are committed to the pregnancy and babies much more than males are so explains why they have the power to choose. Females also have higher value which causes the males to have to fight each other in order to gain favor. In a way, some of those characteristics translate into society and culture as we know it today. Males still see other males as potential competition whereas females generally are more committed if they do get pregnant. So even if we’re just talking about dating, females get to be the chooser during the beginning of the relationship.

  Strengths and Weaknesses of Pull

                  The strengths that lie in Pull Attraction are that you hold the power to reject or not. Another main point is that people become attracted or drawn to you rather than the other way around. Depending on the level of depth that they know you, this may be less shallow compared to just initial attraction. Pull Attraction is more effective in that you conserve more energy and time because the ratio of risks Vs rewards is much more favored.

                  Despite the strengths of Pull Attraction, there are several glaring weaknesses that are inherent to this type of attraction. This strategy is more geared towards females than males as previously explained, a part of society and culture. If a male were to depend on this strategy, then the results would not be as consistent or great as a female’s results. Also, Pull Attraction is very dependent upon how alluring and attractive that you are. Obviously, the greater the perceived “bait” then more pursuers will come. By its own nature, Pull Attraction is passive in which you have to wait for others to make the first move so you’re dependent on others. This is the greatest of the weaknesses because you could possibly be waiting indefinitely and nothing may happen. You leave your fate in the hands of other people rather than yourself.

  Conclusion: Push & Pull Hybrid

                  As we’ve seen, both types of attraction have their inherent strengths and weaknesses. In order to have the best of both worlds, we can try to maximize the strengths of both while trying to minimize the weaknesses. The main advantage of Push Attraction is that you’re actually being proactive in the dating scene. Being active, actually going out and taking risks is something that both genders can do and will be rewarding. This enables them to know that the results are based upon their actions rather than fate or happenchance. However, the weakness of Push is that if you use the same strategy for the entire course of the relationship then you may end up blindly chasing after many people without really knowing who they are. Nor will you know if you are truly attracted to each other if you keep Pushing forward blindly. At the end, you may find that you’ve wasted so much time and energy chasing after someone with nothing to show for it. In order to find out if you guys are attracted to each other than the opposite Pull attraction must be utilized.

                  In a sense, Push Attraction opens the door to Pull Attraction having the chance for actual chemistry to occur. Without each other, the whole equation is incomplete because they are not optimally utilized in either case. With just Push, you will eventually find someone but the quality of the attraction may be shallow. With just Pull, you may have to wait a while for someone else to find you which require much patience but not much activity on your part. The two are incomplete on their own and have their uses in depending on the situation.
  

   

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